Newlywed Update

Alright. It has come to my attention that people are pretty excited about the prospect of Pat and I appearing on the Newlywed Game. Unfortunately, the "audition" has been rescheduled for Tuesday. In other news, the fact that they referred to it as an audition makes me extremely anxious.

I'm also starting to worry that this is all a crazy dream. I have still not receieved the email they promised to send, informing us of crucial details such as where to go on Tuesday. But I strongly suspect that it is not a dream, because I haven't killed anyone, nor has anyone tried to kill me.

Hang in there. We'll try not to let you down.

The Newlywed Game

Well, I wasn't going to say anything just yet, but seeing as nothing interesting has happened today and Oprah was really boring, I have no choice. This Saturday, Pat and I are going to meet with someone from casting at the Newlywed Game.

Unemployment has given me a lot of time with which to search Craigslist for hilarious opportunities like this one. I also recently came across a job posting for a jelly bean counter. That was pretty great, unfortunately, it was removed pretty quickly. I knew it was too good to be true.

But anyways, if I can manage to get on a gameshow, I think my life will finally be complete. And that's good, because if I can complete my life at the age of 25, I can relax for the next few decades without anything hanging overy my head.

Having never actually seen the show, Pat and I have been preparing as best we can. We're taking this very seriously. And now I can say with great confidence that Pat's favorite candy is Starbursts and his favorite amphibian is the salamander. We have also decided that if Pat had to describe my chest in a word beginning with the letter "C" it would be "chesty." Presumably, there are the sorts of things they will want to know.

Stay tuned for updates.

The Internet

I had quite a scare yesterday. I lost my wireless internet connection. I kept my cool for about 10 minutes. But when it didn't come back, I pretty much had a complete meltdown. It was ugly. This was around 10:30 am. I think I pretty closely followed the classic grief cycle. I never quite accepted the loss - I spent most of the day hovering around anger and depression.

Here's how it went:

Denial: "This can't be happening. The internet will be back any second and I will not miss any good updates on Facebook."

Anger: "It's not fair!!! I was just about to send in my application to be on the Newlyweds game show and now I'll never win a second honeymoon! This is all Pat's fault somehow!"

Bargaining: "If I get back on the internet, I will apply for a job. I promise. Or maybe I will just blog about the experience."

Depression: "If I can't look people up on IMDB, I might as well be dead."

Acceptance: "I will never accept losing the wireless. But I might be able to accept the sweet release of death."

Anyways, it took until about 6 pm to resolve the problem. There were a lot of ups and downs. But it gave me some time to think. During my bargaining phase, I decided that this was a sign, and should I ever get the internet back, I would blog again. So, holding up my end of that bargain, here I am.

Unfortunately, getting kicked off the wireless network is pretty much the most eventful thing that's happened in a month. But I promise, there will be more hijinks any day now. I might even leave the house. Who knows?? It's about to get crazy up in here.