The Audition

Well, we had our audition for the Newlywed Game. I can't say that it was entirely good or bad. And as is usual, Pat thought he was extrememly charming, while I, on the other hand, am filled with all kinds of self-loathing.

Now all we have to do is wait. On the plus side, I think we seemed like a decent choice compared to the other couple auditioning with us. Courtney and Flloyd were a little ... nontraditional. When asked why they wanted to be on the show, they answered that they thought it would be a good way to tell their family that they had gotten married. They've been married for over 4 months. I guess that's a good way to spread the news. It might not be the best way, but whatever. It's efficient if nothing else.

I think we also scored a few points by actually understanding the questions. One of the questions posed to the men was "When you go out on the town, which of your wife's friends will end up getting drunk and flirting with the bartender?" Flloyd answered, "She doesn't go out of town often."

But I have many regrets. Mainly, I could not help but cheat. Let me explain. I didn't want to cheat. I didn't think it would increase our odds of getting on the show. But Pat and I both had our three answers written on paper, and we were sitting next to each other. And the paper was completely see-through. I'm only human! It was completely unavoidable. And on top of that, they provided Sharpie markers as writing utensils! I feel like it was a test. And I failed. I couldn't NOT see what Pat had written. And now I'm pretty sure that they're over there at the game show network tape analysis lab, proving that I was reading Pat's backward answers.

And this is why I'm convinced that it was a total failure.

I think the silver lining here is that if we don't get called back, that drastically reduces the odds that I will ever have to talk about "making whoopee" on national tv. That is comforting.