Oprah
I just heard Oprah reveal that she just got her first cell phone. Now first, I want to give you a minute to get over what is undoubtedly shock and awe that I was sitting at home watching Oprah at 3 pm on a Wednesday.
Ok now, you, like the live studio audience, are probably also shocked that Oprah, the most powerful, rich, scary woman in America, did not have a cell phone. OPRAH, of all people. No cell phone! She was real casual about it too. "Yeah, first one. Yeah, I didn't want one. I never wanted one. I just never wanted one. Now I have one," with that air of superiority that people who refuse to embrace technology usually have.
Anyways, this does not surprise me in the least, for a variety of reasons.
1. SHE IS OPRAH. She makes 225 million dollars in a year. She does not need a cell phone. She has an army of employees and assistants and possibly indentured servants. If she needs to reach someone, she has one of those many people call them. Because all of them have cell phones. It's like how Amish people claim not to use cars and shit, but they're perfectly happy to ride around in a car as long as someone else is driving. So there you go - Oprah and the Amish = hyprocrites.
2. She is 54 years old. Now, it's true that most 54 year-olds in this country probably have cell phones. But see point #1. If she is ever alone in her mansion and she needs to call her weird lady friend, Gail, she probably uses the landline like most 50-something people have.
3. She is OPRAH. If Oprah said she didn't have a toilet, I'd say, sure, that makes sense. She probably only likes to go to the bathroom in Fiji, so when nature calls, she just hops on her jewel-encrusted private jet so that she can tinkle in the pure Artesian water of the Yaqara Valley. And that would not surprise me.
4. She is Oprah. And she thinks she's better than you. And let's be honest. She probably is. I heard that she only pees in Fiji.
Ok now, you, like the live studio audience, are probably also shocked that Oprah, the most powerful, rich, scary woman in America, did not have a cell phone. OPRAH, of all people. No cell phone! She was real casual about it too. "Yeah, first one. Yeah, I didn't want one. I never wanted one. I just never wanted one. Now I have one," with that air of superiority that people who refuse to embrace technology usually have.
Anyways, this does not surprise me in the least, for a variety of reasons.
1. SHE IS OPRAH. She makes 225 million dollars in a year. She does not need a cell phone. She has an army of employees and assistants and possibly indentured servants. If she needs to reach someone, she has one of those many people call them. Because all of them have cell phones. It's like how Amish people claim not to use cars and shit, but they're perfectly happy to ride around in a car as long as someone else is driving. So there you go - Oprah and the Amish = hyprocrites.
2. She is 54 years old. Now, it's true that most 54 year-olds in this country probably have cell phones. But see point #1. If she is ever alone in her mansion and she needs to call her weird lady friend, Gail, she probably uses the landline like most 50-something people have.
3. She is OPRAH. If Oprah said she didn't have a toilet, I'd say, sure, that makes sense. She probably only likes to go to the bathroom in Fiji, so when nature calls, she just hops on her jewel-encrusted private jet so that she can tinkle in the pure Artesian water of the Yaqara Valley. And that would not surprise me.
4. She is Oprah. And she thinks she's better than you. And let's be honest. She probably is. I heard that she only pees in Fiji.
posted by lady at 6:36 PM
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